You know the way in American movies the hero has to get the punch in the nose first, before he gets motivated to get to the happy ending? And the way he can’t get what he wants, because he wants it for the wrong reasons? The way he gets to the point of giving up all hope, and starts acting […]
Singing?.. Hmm..
I go downstairs to the cellar to touch a human being. There, amongst the mouldings and things, is Tim. – Cuddle, – say I. We cuddle. – Don’t be upset. – he says, – It turns out to be a rather good day after all. – I am not upset any more. Not after I wrote about it. […]
Take this shit and turn it into a sweet!
Morning. Girls are on the bus to shool. In my hand there is a LARGE LETTER to take to the post office. In the letter there is my little watercolour, which I sold on ebay for £0.99 plus £3.50 postage and packing. The idea is to get some money from economising on postage and packing. I am walking […]
Gallery ideology – no ideology
These were very shaky few months for me – rushing here and there, pressing all sorts of buttons with all sorts of unexpected and half-expected consequences. What I’ve learned: 1. Have to try and think at least one and a half steps ahead, although it is so hard for my nature. 2. Don’t go against […]
Potential vs achievement
We all are immense potentials, and only a few of us are actual achievements. I don’t want to be a potential any more. I am to be an achievement.
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To stop. And shout your heart out.
That’s how I felt for a second. And then it went away. There was this artist who’s name I don’t remember, who kept painting eye injuries. In the end he lost an eye in a pub brawl. Let’s say, you are an artist. And you keep painting your nightmares. Would you be afraid that they […]
Self?
It is impossible to escape oneself… But possible to never find out what this self is. They say, it is impossible to escape oneself… Provided, one ever found the way to oneself. The struggle is to find oneself. Then to escape it.
One Rainy Saturday
I suppose, I am living a rather special life, by managing to stay out of the rat. A month ago a word “cocoon” came to my mind. I was distinctly feeling like sitting in a cocoon, waiting. For what? For the wings to grow, for the body to change… For the change! Change started knocking at the […]
How about making yet another mistake?..
“A cowboy is asked: – Why did you decide to jump into that thornbush? – I thought it was gonna be OK!..” That’s me. My 4-year-old daughter seams to be following in my footsteps. The other day she jumped on me unexpectedly, as they do, and nearly broke my neck. I asked her nicely not to do […]
I know the feeling…
Rogue Elephant A.R.Ammons (1926 – 2001) http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/A/AmmonsAR/ The reason to be autonomous is to stand there, a cleared instrument, ready to act, to search the moral realm and actual conditions for what needs to be done and to do it: fine, the best, if it works out, but if, like a gun, it comes […]