For the last couple of months, I worked on a portrait commission. There was not much drawing as such. However, I am summarising and consolidating in this painting the drawing, the colour, the freedom, the new confidence, and the accumulated experiences in a new and conscious way.
Because of my singular focus on this work in the last few weeks, I sank back into this peculiar work mode – something I became aware of some time ago. When I am very focused on the work, I lose social skills and become a bit of a retard. Catching myself in this moronic state, I am realising that I haven’t focused on work for a very long time! Because I was pretty decent socially for years!
At one point during my college years, while under the influence, I remember the realisation that madness is almost inevitable should I choose to be singleminded about art and the deep fear that came with that thought. So, the life-work balance is a subconscious management of sanity. Or a cop-out…
I recently discovered the music of Jacob Collier – here is a genius who is totally singleminded about his art, yet a thoroughly sane and charming human being!
I am simply excusing my inability to come up with a meaningful commentary on the eve of our fourth meeting. It’s been four meetings, and it’s been a year!